AIM: Pancaek Beast | E-mail: shdwdde@gmail.com | Denny's House of Pancaeks
Dante vs. Hayabusa, Sora vs. Tingle, Phoenix vs. Gordon, Kratos vs. Ryu, Mega Man vs. Axel (Points: 21/13 Matches: 21/23)
Alucard's words echo mysteriously into your mind. They strike you with inspiration and wipe out your sanity, much in the same way that a meteor once wiped the world of dinosaurs. An Ice Age descending upon your mind, you decide to gain the "upper hand" by inverting everything.
Literally.
You plant your head on the ground and lift yourself to your full height and begin to spin on it. The drilling force of cranium against soil would normally propel you dozens of feet into the ground, but you juxtapose your weight between a few bumps at just such an angle that no such calamity befalls the earth beneath you. You flare your legs to gain some intense leverage and begin to rap.
This is a story all about how
My life got flip turned upside down
I'd like to take a moment just rap to you
'Bout being on the D. K. Crew
Your spinning goes out of control; you are aware of Alucard muttering something like "Time is short," but you merely rap louder, switching into the third person.
He's the leader of the bunch
You know him well
He's finally back
To KICK SOME TAIL
At this comment, you bound off of the ground and land on your feet. The tremor causes a change in the landscape, and as you become more enthralled with the sound that your vocal cords are producing, your movements become more and more reckless. You perform backflips continuously, covering immeasurable distances. Green earth and black spotted sky cycle in your vision, and you are not sure exactly what is happening when you stomp on something black on the ground, as well.
In West Nintendo born and raised
In the palm trees is how I spent most of my days
"You killed my father!" The black ninja rises to his feet and waves a Dragon Sword at you, leaping to keep pace.
Eating, napping, rapping all sweet
While lookin' for some ninjas that I could beat
You deviate slightly from your path and stick out your foot. The random acceleration guns the ninja far into the air and out of sight. Your range of vision isn't exactly superlative, but you are mother****ing Donkey Kong, and you have an affinity for knowing when you have completely and utterly owned someone. And this is one of those times. In your burst of egotism, you cannot help but brag about your arsenal.
His coconut gun
Can fire in spurts
You stop the flipping abruptly on stop. A male fairy, green-clad, floats above you, dangling from a red balloon. Recognizing the significance of the red, you snatch the sprite out of the sky, a single hand gripping both ankles. Using the string of the balloon as a second handle, you stretch the two apart to form one of the more agreeable slingshots you have ever seen.
If he shoots ya
It's gonna hurt
You release Tingle from your grip, and the elastic force of the slingshot easily launches him from the island. Parting is such sweet sorrow for some, but in this case... well.
Then one day K. Rool, he was bored
Started stealin' my banana horde
Rhythmically, you find a man in a business suit and a man in an orange jumpsuit. Unsure of which to rid the island first, you stare at them prolongedly, scratching your head. The moment of hesitation passes quickly, however; the business guy raises his finger and yells something obtrusive and unnecessarily loud. Almost wistfully, you grab him and sprint to the edge of the island and pitch an admirable curveball.
And then the universe implodes. There is a flash of white! And then all is dark!
When you come to consciousness, you are staring into the face of the God of War. Painted a terrifying assortment of red and white, it leers at you with chains on its arms. You and he engage in an epic head-on battle that lasts for several hours, involving fire, blades, screaming, and a certain Coconut Gun.
To cut a long story short, you kick his ass and toss him into the water and stomp out Axel, too. Details are hazy, sure, but you are mother****ing Donkey Kong, and if anyone wants to question your means, he can talk to you in person.
(A) Try to find the remaining pieces of the universe. Y
(B) Eat a mushroom. What do you mean, "you don't have it"? You are mother****ing Donkey Kong. Of course you have mushrooms!
(C) Hang around on the beach and see whom you can apprehend as he passes.
(D) Run around and methodically tear down trees, attempting to deprive the island of oxygen. It'll be tough, but you think that you can do it.
SD
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Thursday, October 05, 2006
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