AIM: Pancaek Beast | E-mail: shdwdde@gmail.com | Denny's House of Pancaeks
Samus vs. Nidoran F (Points: 0/0 Matches: 0/0)
Without a moment of indecision, you sprint to the center of the field, take a deep breath, and hurl yourself into the water. A diminuitive splash, invisible in the midnight hours, and you are underwater... you swim down for several yards until you feel a mushy bottom. A gentle stream of bubbles trickles from your nostrils. It is ****ing pitch black.
You stay submerged, not breathing, staring up at the utter darkness of the surface. Several hours pass with you in your water resting place, gazing longingly upward. But you do not doze off. You are wide awake, and you amuse yourself by picking a little at your right nostril, which has become somewhat congested, even without water. This, however, only lasts you two minutes; for the rest of the time, you make funny faces at the surface. You are one patient son of a gun.
Gradually, the sun rises. It bleeds right through the still water. The water above you is absolutely clear, and the eerily unrippling surface is totally transparent.
Then the stirring begins. "Mmm," says a distant voice from above you, "Looks so pretty and secluded and... I usually don't take off this suit, but I guess even I like to smell decent once in a while..."
From above, something ominous and shadowy and dark and intimidating leaps into the pond and moves, frog-like, through the water. Ripples and waves begin to form, and you blink a couple of times to adjust your eyesight to the scattering light. A feminine shadow now covers you and the bottom of your pond, darting back and forth. As your vision returns, you discern a blue leotard wrapped around a tall blonde woman. You hear trickles of laughter echoing down the height of the pond. She is the image of freedom, happiness.
For one instant, she dives down a little, sticks her yellow-haired head into the pond, eyes innocently open. She sees you, scrunching your lips and lifting your left eyebrow to snowcapped heights, staring deep into her face.
And you are angry.
A terrified bubble explodes out of the woman's mouth; she pulls quickly out of the water and breaks toward the edge. You take off instantly. Powerful strokes and natural buoyancy spring you to the surface in around half a second. A tunnel of light rushes at you like those delectable mushrooms rushing to your sensory pleasures. The surface explodes upon your exit, and you soar out of it, flexing your muscles and exuding a fascinating awesomeness before landing squelchingly on your feet in the grass.
There is a MIDI-generated sound, and you find a small scar on the left side of your chest. The force of the blast does not even faze you. With some incredulity, you look at a robotic, yellow and red-clad figure, pointing a cannon at you. A blue windshield or something is covering its face, but you can absolutely tell that it's the same woman - and you can also tell that her face is screaming "WHAT THE HELL." It's a good feeling.
Most importantly of all, you can tell that there is a red bandanna strapped around her arm. Regaining a bit of her wit, she fires a missile at you. You swat it away with the back of your hand. It falls into the beautiful pond and explodes, destroying its pure virginity.
And you are angry.
Sure, this woman hasn't done any harm to you, but she just wrecked your hiding spot, and mother****ing Donkey Kong doeson t stand for that type of disrespect.
You stride over, muffling her itty-bitty ice beam, and easily grab her arm-cannon thingy with both hands. She struggles ineffectually, beating you over the head. You sense a bit of mild aggravation, but her ate has already been sealed, anyway. Exerting just a little bit of effort, you crumple the cannon in your palms.
Ignoring the shriek, You hold the woman by her helmet in your left hand, dangling her feet a yard above the ground, and wind up with your right hand. You sense the absolute terror imprinted on the woman's face beneath you as you toss her a few feet into the air and wait... she descends... and you unload your punch, an uppercut that breaks the entire torso of your nemesis and takes her deep into the stratosphere and off the Island of Champions.
It is a good day for mother****ing Donkey Kong. But the fighting, you see, has torn up the grass of the field and made a general mess. You're outta here.
(A) Go North. In the daylight, it looks like there are palm trees and no ocean. And where better to relax than... a place with palm trees and no ocean!?
(B) Go South. You have no idea where this leads, but you have a good feeling about it.
(C) Go East, into the sun, where apparently there are bananas.
(D) Go West, into the mountains. Why? Because you are mother****ing Donkey Kong, and if you want to do something that just "sounds cool," like "Go West, young Donkey Kong," then God Damn it, you will.
SD
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
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