AIM: Pancaek Beast | E-mail: shdwdde@gmail.com | Denny's House of Pancaeks
Rikku vs. Lenneth Valkyrie (Points: 2/2 Matches: 2/2)
You blow one final kiss to the day's victim and realize that it's not quite over yet. There is still, as they say, unfinished business.
So you turn your back to the cliff and the setting sun and sprint back downhill. Going downhill, you realize, is much more difficult than going uphill. Each pump of your legs carries you dozens of feet, and you only manage to take three of these prodigious strides before falling onto your head and rolling downward like a katamari, crushing trees and absorbing them into your awesome person and making you a brambly, tree-lovin', one-part avalanche.
You brake hard and manage to pull out of your ball. Trees go flying everywhere and decimate the lush mountainside. Your knees take some serious damage as you dig your heels hard into the thinning topsoil, kicking up barrels of dirt.
Barrels...
You to feel slightly stoned; dirt is coating most of your eyes, preventing you from perfect visual clarity. Something slightly feminine-looking is hovering before you, and you see the red thing tied around its arm. It doesn't take much thinking to realize that this is not Ada Wong, the lady whom you were seeking. But your primal urges overwhelm your normal flawless reasoning skills, so you seize the figure around the waist and begin to pull it up the mountain. You carry it the full length and plop it hard on its ass right at the edge of the cliff.
Suddenly, you hear a piercing "Wait!" The frequency of the blast nearly destroys you; your eyes narrow to slits, and your palms cover your precious ears. Something with a red ribbon in its hair is walking up. You're still a little hazy on exactly what it is, but it's mostly skin-colored, and - "Oooh!" - it is also apparently the source of the replusive sound.
Massive damage mentality grips you, hard, and renders you quickly incapable of responding to it. Then, primitively, your instincts again kick in above your common sense. Your mind remains quite aloof to the events that occur. The voice numbs your brain, but the sensation is far from pleasant. Your hands, separate of any conscious thought, begin to grab large chunks of earth and roll them into barrel shapes.
And then you start rolling them down. The path between the Challenger and you is slightly demolished, but there are still enough trees to produce a generally twisted maze. You seem to jump from one frame to the next, rolling the "barrels" of dirt down the mountainside one by one, barely hesitating to watch as the skinny little creature makes its way around the obstacles that you are so sordidly rolling.
Hop... hop... She jumps over your projectiles like a 1980s arcade character as she reaches the top. You try to expedite your rolling process, but it is of no use. Before your brain can send the message to your fingers, several minutes have passed, and your enemy has already reached your little apex at the cliff. Suddenly, she is now rejoicing with your prized captive. She stands boldly before the blue-clothed woman that you brought up the cliff, and ... it may be just your brain kicking into hyper-overdrive again, but you can almost hear something whistling in the back of your head, almost see a pink heart flashing above their heads.
The strange eroticism of a hideous underage skank and a female warrior lady brings you back to your senses jarringly. The pink heart shatters from your sight as you realize that they are intruding on your territory. The vague bemused detachment gives way to aggression and all the testosterone of a gorilla in heat. You are mother****ing Donkey Kong.
So you punch the now-embracing duo hard in the side, shattering their grip. The blue one flies off the edge of the island quickly; the skimpily dressed one gives out another shriek and falls hard down the mountainside. The magnititude of the little *****'s scream knocks you out instantly. You lie spread-eagled on the spot.
You wake up a couple of nights later, but The Voice has disappeared. Narrowing your eyes, you descend the mountain.
(A) Get ye gun. Yes, just bust it out and open fire. Who knows what interesting people you'll meet?
(B) Head to the desert. It's a desert island, get it!? Plus there might be bananas.
(C) Go to that northerly city-looking thing up there. You are mother****ing Donkey Kong, and you have some parties to crash. Literally.
(D) Take a nap. It is always an option. And plus being knocked out cold by high-pitched voice doesn't necessarily make you well rested.
SD
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Thursday, September 14, 2006
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