AIM: Pancaek Beast | E-mail: shdwdde@gmail.com | Denny's House of Pancaeks
KOS-MOS vs. Amy Rose, Aeris vs. Marle (Points: 10/11 Matches: 10/11)
Time passes like a rocket. You stand stolid, oozing copious amounts of awesomeness, watching above you as the sun and the moon spin and dance across the sky. Several days pass in the span of a few minutes. People enter and exit the airport in bursts.
Whump. Something in the form of an unsightly pink blob breaks you from your time-speeding reverie. Everything seems to slow down, and you hear a vague whiny sound, playing at around a third of its normal speed. The unsightly pink blob is rubbing its snout in pain; a red bow is in what could possibly considered its hair.
"Whaaaaat waaaaas thaaaaat fooo - heeeeeeey, hoooow aaaare yaaa mooooooviiin' soooo faaaaaaaaast?" she drawls. You proceed to run from the airport, gripping her by the toes and letting her upper body twist and turn below it. "Wheeeeere aaaaaare -"
But you have already reached the edge of the island before her finish. You do not know what ancient magic is empowering you, but it feels pretty damn good. The thing is still complaining. You take a professional shotputter's stance and aim far into oblivion. Or rather, the Pacific Ocean.
For some reason, just as you are about to fire the squealing blob off, you hear a sound, thrice elongated, from behind you. You whip around and find a girl clad in white, wearing one of those damned red ribbons in her hair. She is holding a crossbow, pointed directly at your heart, and before you know it, she has squeezed the trigger.
The projectile moves in distinctive slow motion, and the girl deftly fires another in relatively quick succession. Dropping the pink paperweight in your hands, you toss your upper body and thighs backward, lying flat, and wave your arms unnecessarily. One crossbow bolt passes over your nose, the second just barely through the narrow gap of your right armpit. You twist your had, and a third bolt crosses that area. Several more arrows graze your form, but your ability to bend the rules of physics affords you avoidance of every move.
You straighten up and propel yourself at the girl. Next to you, the pink thing is slithering off. You snatch the crossbow out of the white girl's hands; it takes her around five seconds to change facial expressions, but you do not wait. The crossbow bolt explodes unforgivingly from the weapon and skewers the left foot of the escaping pink creature. A few seconds after the strike, she lets out an unending, estranged cry. You feel something poking you from behind and find the white girl beating at you ineffectually with her hands. For a moment, pity overcomes you. She looks so absolutely helpless and cute, her walnut-sized fists beating upon your boulder behind.
The feeling passes quickly, though. You are mother****ing Donkey Kong, and you do not like people that attempt to cause you harm, pitiful as their efforts may be. You place a calming forefinger on her head and press down gently but powerfully. She sinks around three feet into the soil and waves her hands in protest.
Then you head to the shishkabob rosy rabbit thing. You yank the bolt from the ground and left it into the air, tilting it in different directions and watching the pink creature slide back and forth on it like a keychain as you stroll back to the girl in white. You pinch her ponytail and pluck her petite form out of the ground.
Somehow, inspiration strikes you. Placing the stake and its impalee on the ground for a moment, you delicately undo the ponytail in the girl's hair and fiddle around with it until you manage to knot it around the crossbow bolt as well.
Finally, you pull the projectile from the earth and hurl it like a javelin. The arc it forms is beautiful, and time finally seems to kick into correct gear again as two more competitors leave the Island of Champions.
You gaze for a few minutes into the sunset before hearing a voice behind you.
"That's not very nice, is it?"
(A) Bolt in fear. You are mother****ing Donkey Kong, but you have a bad feeling about this one.
(B) Dive into the Pacific Ocean. You're not exactly leaving the island, but you're gonna need a shelter point.
(C) Close your eyes, shut your mental doors, and try to take a nap.
(D) Whip it out.
SD
Saturday, September 23, 2006
Saturday, September 23, 2006
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